author of 22 books
||Ways to Keep Harmony and Generate Goodwill at Home
by Michele Borba, Ed.D.
Author of Building Moral Intelligence: The Seven Essential Virtues that Teach Kids to Do the Right Thing
MORAL IQ TIP: Tune up your empathic behaviors so your child regularly sees you show concern for other people's hurts and needs. Then act on your concerns to comfort others so that your child can copy your actions.
Boredom and heat can increase the negative behavior siblings exhibit toward one another. We can encourage a caring environment in the home by sensitizing our children to the feelings and thoughts of others. The following ideas are from my upcoming book, BUILDING MORAL INTELLIGENCE: A PARENT’S GUIDE TO TEACHING THE SEVEN ESSENTIAL VIRTUES (Jossey Bass, 2001). They’re just a few of the dozens of ways you can encourage your child to respect and care for everyone at home.
Make a Family Care Covenant to stamp out uncaring words and deeds. To be effective it must be consistently enforced.
1. Identify uncaring behavior and do not allow it. For example, when a child makes a negative, uncaring comment, bashes or criticizes someone, he must turn it around with a positive statement, orally or written.
2. Make it a goal to ?build up? each other instead of ?put down?.
3. Spell out in writing what uncaring words and gestures are not permitted in your family.
4. Involve all members, make suggestions for enforcement of the rules.
5. Have all members sign it and post it.
6. Keep a large glass jar where anyone who says a put-down or other negative comment must ?pay for it?.
7. Post of list of chores that a child can do if he is short of money
8. When the jar fills up, take it to your favorite charity.
Charity begins at home. Create Caring Coupon Books to encourage acts of caring and service. Kids can do chores for one another, read to one another, share a special toy, allow their sibling choose the TV show or music in the car or practice a sport or play a game with the recipient.
1. Have each child choose a family member to give the coupon book.
2. Cut paper into 4? x 8? strips.
3. On the top of each page write ?Because I care about you, I will?? followed by a caring chore.
4. Illustrate it and make a cover.
5. Staple sides together.
6. Deliver to the lucky recipient.
By establishing an environment where children’s empathy is nurtured by treating one another with respect and caring deeds, your summer camping-in experience will be more loving and peaceful!
One more tip for camping in don’t forget manners! ?A kind heart and kind manners mean you don’t hurt feelings and you make other people feel good?.1 The heart of manners is caring about the other person. Kind manners and good behavior makes one feel good about oneself and a stronger sense of self. Consideration of others at home makes people want to be around you.
1. Baldrige, Letitia. Letitia Baldridge’s More than Manners. Rawson Associates. 1997
Dr. Michele Borba is an educational consultant and author who has conducted parent and teacher seminars to over half a million participants. Her latest book is Building Moral Intelligence: The Seven Essential Virtues that Teach Kids to Do the Right Thing (Jossey Bass Publishers). Information on her publications and seminars can be accessed through her Web site, www.moralintelligence.com.
© 2001 by Michele Borba. Please contact for permission to reprint.